


Miles Away

by JengaManga



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, just you two, that's literally it - Freeform, two one shots in one day tho holy hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JengaManga/pseuds/JengaManga
Summary: (Y/n) hates how Spencer leaves for his work and when he comes back unexpected one day and visits her dance studio, he sees her dance to an angsty song. Song: Miles Away - Memphis May Fire [ft Kellin Quinn]





	

It was another lonely day at the dance studio for (y/n). The usual classes, business work, and finally she did her own routines before 9pm when she would lock the studio up for the night, then it was the same thing the next day. 

It only got worse because her boyfriend of 5 months was always away. Coming home to a cold bed at her home and watching the mail pile up at his. But of course she didn't say anything, nor did she ever try to leave. She loved him too much, and she hated herself for it. She never even said that she loved him, she was so scared that he didn't want to commit like that. (Y/n) talked so down on herself that she somehow convinced herself that Dr. Spencer Reid only used her for an emotional and romantic bond. It may branch out to sexual, but it was too early in the relationship for that. 

(Y/n) did simple stretches, doing splits and hand stands with one arm. She then dragged herself to her small green radio, pressing the play button to play a song from her burned CD. 

_/I pack my bags and say goodbye to my wife for what seems like the millionth time./_

'Of course a cliché song had to come up at a time like this' she thought. Nevertheless, she tip toed to the center of the room, content with just closing her eyes and losing herself into the music. 

_/They said it gets easier, but they lied. She looks at me and says, "Really, baby, I will be just fine,"  
But then she looks away so I don't have to see her cry./_

(Y/n) felt a pang of empathy, feeling to related to the lyrics. She just ignored it as she spun a 180, getting more passionate now that the chorus was coming up. 

_/And that is when I ask myself:_

_How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home?/_

(Y/n) felt so guilty listening to those words. Never had she thought that Spencer would feel the same sadness and loneliness that haunted her every night. This whole time she was being selfish and only thinking of herself and never spared thought to her own boyfriend. With these thoughts, (y/n) started silently crying, still swaying and dancing to the beat. 

_/She needs me, but I know they need me too. So, God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do./_

Oh how much (y/n) wishes that Spencer could make time for both his job and her, but (y/n) could never ask him to spend LESS time at his job. She knew how much he loved his work, and if she needed to be a silent soldier, then she would gladly take the chance. 

_/Really, I'm so thankful for the people I meet, the places I've been and the things I've seen, but when she's not here it doesn't feel like I'm living my dream./_

(Y/n) wondered what her lover was doing right now. Was he thinking of her? Was he catching a bad guy? Was he dead? So many possibilities ran through her head as she bent her body dramatically before slowing down again. 

_/I know they say that no one is perfect, but I swear she's perfect for me and that makes it so much harder to leave./_

She wondered how much Spencer truly loved her. They've never said their "I love you's" yet. (Y/n) made the decision to tell him tomorrow night, when he came home from his work trip, the minute he came home. The second she saw him she would scream her love for him to the rooftops. 

_/How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home?_  
_She needs me, but I know they need me too. So, God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do./_

As the chorus began again, she mirrored her moves she did for the first one, much more passionate and tear filled than before. (Y/n) followed the flow the music, the lyrics sticking into her head like glue. 

_/If you miss me, I'm just a phone call away. Please be strong, be strong for me. I need you to show me how to change the inside of me. For my heart, for their sake. Be strong, be strong for me!/ ___

(Y/n) took these words to heart as the tears flowed faster and harder, making her blink away the stinging. She needed to be strong for Spencer. She needed to be the open arms he needed after a case, the body to keep him warm at night when he felt comfortable to touch her, the love he just needed in general. (Y/n) knew that if she wasn't strong in this complicated relationship, then it would all fall apart. She spun faster and faster as the song came to its peak, her ruffled dress stretching out to its max, spread out around her. 

_/How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone, so alone?/_

As the song came to a close, she was much slower in her movements than before, finally opening her eyes. When she turned, she saw her boyfriend Dr. Spencer Reid standing in the doorway, tear stains on his cheeks. 

"Sp-Spencer?" (Y/n) stuttered, stopping her dancing completely as she looked onto the man she called her lover, wondering why he was home, or even at the dance studio, when he was supposed to be in tomorrow night. 

"We had enough time to actually leave a day early. I went to your apartment, but you weren't there.. So I came here," he sniffled, walking closer to the love of his young life. (Y/n) followed suit, walking closer to him. 

"If I had known I would've waited for you at the airport, you must be tired," (y/n) sighed shakily, placing a hand on his cheek as she still felt the wet tears on his face. He smiled weakly, but it was still a smile. 

"I wanted to surprise you... If I knew you were missing me so much, I would've rushed home," he explained, bringing back up the song from before. 

"What do you mean?" (Y/n) whispered, trying to drive the subject off course and have it lead to something else. 

"I knew you were relating to this song, I could see it in your movements... Plus you were crying. I didn't need to use my profiling skills to see that," he sighed, resting his forehead on her's to look into her eyes. 

"I hate it when you can tell how I feel just by me moving yet I can barely understand some of the things you say. It's truly unfair," (y/n) tried to lighten the mood, to at least add less angst to the situation. 

"I know," he hummed softly in amusement. "I still do it," he smiled, kissing her deeply. He then suddenly pulled away. "Stop stalling," he hushed out, still holding (y/n) close. 

"Dammit," she muttered, causing Spencer to laugh. He was the brains and she was the comedian. 

"You hate my job, don't you?" He asked quietly once his own laughed had died down. 

"I don't hate your job, but of course I dislike it. You're miles away from me. But I would never stop you or me from what we're doing now. I want you to save lives! It's the most precious thing anyone can do," (y/n) spoke with such passion that Spencer was sure he would cry in joy just by listening to her talk. 

He didn't say anything, he just kissed her deeply.  
"I still feel so sorry for leaving you so lonely. I know that no matter what I do that I'll never be able to make it up to you. But I still want to try," Spencer admitted, still so new to this whole dating thing. He looked into (y/n)'s eyes, trying to figure out what she was feeling. She gave him the "stop reading my mind" face, making Spencer laugh. 

"We'll talk about this later, I just want you to hold me for right now," (y/n) told him, wrapping her arms tight around him. 

"Good, I'd like to do both," Spencer smiled, leading her out of the studio and into their new lives together.

_/How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home?_  
_She needs me, but I know they need me too. So, God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do./_

**Author's Note:**

> Staying a one shot  
> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ 
> 
> I barely listen to Memphis May Fire anymore but I went through an old playlist n found this and I had idea


End file.
